Sunset Nights
Salut,
I think the second week and the third is where you start to notice things you didn’t notice the first, your eyes are too overwhelmed during the first to register absolutely anything. The last two weeks have been kind of a blur, but a lot happens, but time still meanders, days very long but weeks gone in the blink of an eye.
On our second Sunday, we went to Santi’s place to celebrate his birthday. It was very fun; I taught them all my favorite card games, “Slimehead”, alternatively called “Palace” or “Shithead” (Pardon my French). We had what we call “green Shirley Temple”, a nonalcoholic green chaser. I can’t remember what we ate but the vibes were amazing.
We got to celebrate Eid (or Ait in Kyrgyz). For Eid, it means LOTS of guesting. From 11 am, after two hours of classes, we guested to eight different houses. I had to pace my food a lot. I went home extremely full, extremely exhausted, only to find my host apa hosting even more people at the house. One family was entirely random, a neighbor of Tess’ who invited us in, delighted to welcome Americans and delighted for their teenage son to practice English briefly. Our language teachers instructed everyone to simply offer light snacks and tea, but some houses served entire meals. Hard to complain about eating food.
When we visited Rich Rakhat’s house, the house already had a plethora of guests in the main dining room. Responsible Rakhat mentioned that sometimes guests on top of guests arrive at a house. They were intrigued to see Americans, and Alex, Santi, and I, as the youngest, had the honor to wash the family’s hands. The sheep was all cooked and prepared and we served the family in order of age and status. As per tradition, they offered us sheep fat (again, sheep ass) to consume which I did, very reluctantly. I’ve tried lots of Kyrgyz food already, and some delicacies can be found in the photo gallery :).
Everyone already has funny stories. Alex relayed the story of his host ata (dad) slaughtering a sheep, cutting the meat off its ass, and offering it casually to him, who grew red in the face. We also kind of, maybe, maybe not actually, broke a host family’s TV (we didn’t actually… but we sure as hell thought we did). We also watched Tropic Thunder at another’s.
On the second marshrutka ride, someone pointed out that the driver holds the money we give him the entire time we were riding. A random stranger/rider takes a seat next to the driver, helping him count and collect money and watch the road. Being socialized in the US, I could never trust someone like that, but it was interesting to see it in action. The marshrutka driver holds cash in his left hand, steering the wheel with his right. Another interesting tidbit about driving in Kyrgyzstan, at least where we are- which is close to the capital, so I assume it is similar even in remote places, is that there are no delineated lines. Drivers cut each other off all the time, go around each other as cars on the other time come barreling towards us. Drivers drive on the right (mostly), but in the cars themselves, the wheels can be on either the right or left, I’ve seen both. One of the staff told us that during the summer, masses drive to Issyk Kul, and it leads to higher rates of car accidents, because allegedly Kazakhs drive in when it’s hot, and that leads to road rage racing to get there first. The taxis make me the most scared; they drive 120-140 km/hour on emptier roads, narrowly cutting off other drivers with open windows (cars don’t have ac here either). Every time I sit in a fast taxi I feel as if I’m about to die. Probably something to get used to. To be fair, Texans can be fast drivers too.
I’ve already learned a lot by being here, and the layers upon layers of family dynamics start to unfurl. I learned my host mom actually has six siblings, as I had assumed she and her baike were the only ones. All of them live in the village! Most of the families in the village are related, and many of the other volunteers' families are also related. Zachary’s mom’s sister is my mom’s sister-in-law, making Zachary and me distant in-laws… somehow. My language group and I see a nice two-story house next to our Rakhat eje’s house every day and we always wondered who owned it… turns out it’s my taike’s! (Some background, a baike is an uncle or older brother, or a general name for a man older than you, while a taike is a maternal uncle- so my host mom’s baike is my taike, I hope that makes sense).
This week, I also learned in the course of a night that my absent baike (my host mom’s son) who is in Moscow recently married, and his wife sent money for our family to buy an electric and gas stove, a new sink, and a new oven. #poshcorps. Currently, it’s all sitting in the kitchen. I also learned my host mom is a Jehovah’s Witness, which I’m not sure how I didn’t figure that out. My taike is atheist, as is my host sister, and my taike jokingly called me and them communists. Considering that Kyrgyzstan is like over 80-90% Muslim and like 8% Christian, of whom the vast majority are Orthodox, my host family is probably the single Jehovah’s Witness family in the whole Rayon (rayon- county) or country.
As days pass by, I relish some of the routine but also the surprise. I get sleepy in class always, and by the afternoon, I am exhuasted, which our teacher knows. My ADHD isn't helping; I've found standing, eating candy or gum, and doodling to be helpful in concentrating. I got to meet in person one of the K-28 cohort members, Ada, currently stationed in Naryn. Her Kyrgyz proficiency is quite good, as one would expect after a year. Hearing from a current volunteer is so immensely helpful in knowing the current conditions and also formulating what I would like. Also hearing how accommodating PC is to your desires for a permanent site. I want to be somewhere cold (ish), with a nice view (greenery), and a big family. I’m lucky to be a part of K-29, according to her, during covid years, last year, they all stayed in a sort of big hotel during PST. No host families (except for a lunch they had during the weekends), so little incentive to practice. She said we’re already fast ahead of where she was at this point in PST, which I think can be comforting to hear. She’s still learning and practicing her Kyrgyz, and I’ve heard you can get tutors once you’re on-site, which is something I think I’ll want to do. Apparently, during the winter, there’s no fruit or veggies, so most of the food is only meat. I’m not particularly looking forward to that. She also mentioned the other difficulties: being alone and isolated, feeling like you aren’t close to your Kyrgyz community due to a language barrier, worries about pay, and PC not paying enough.
I got to meet a bunch of kids behind my house the other day. One repeatedly kept saying “ni hao” to me over and over again and another screamed an English cuss word to me while jumping up and down on his bike. I responded to the kid in Chinese, and he, not knowing any Chinese, but instead assuming I did, just responded “Ni hao”. Most kids here speak Russian to us.
The one thing I love here is the katuu shamal, the strong wind that flows through the windows. It rains sometimes, and it can be accompanied by wind or dust. It’s most hot from 1-5, and by early evening it cools down. The evening has been much nicer, and sometimes I just want to walk around, always looking for a beautiful sunset. My taike comes over often; I finally realized my host mom’s siblings, all of them, live in this village. I think I internalized and assumed that she was a lonely person in this village, transposing my limited family back home onto her without realizing what a sprawling and warm family she actually has. Her parents are the ones who live far away in the mountains. He showed me photos of all his travels and time around Kyrgyzstan. He said he is a sheep and chicken farmer, but whenever I walk by his house, I never see any chicken nor sheep. Shrug*. The daily shepherds, often very young children, with big sticks walking around flanked by sheep is still something I haven’t gotten used to. Nor the cow herds nor the men riding horses throughout the village in the evening. You can step right outside and run into a cow or a sheep.
Because my host sister recently quit her job, she’s in the house a lot more often, and I appreciate being able to practice my Krygyz more. The Krussian is still very strong in the house. I have an ear for it at this point, and I’m still pretty unwilling to learn Russian. I suppose now is the best time, and I’ve always wanted to learn all the major languages (I got English, Chinese, French, and Spanish- and by that, I mean I could probably give basic introductions and ask for help in all of them), and Arabic is on my list. Russian just sounds much much harder. I suppose I should turn on Duolingo and just become a sponge.
I watched Doctor Strange the other day; I streamed it off of my host sister’s computer. We watched it in English with Russian subtitles, and perhaps I shouldn’t have done that because she told me that the subtitles weren’t correct. I was able to read like 5% of the subtitles due to cognates and general knowledge, and I think because it’s a Marvel and action movie, more was probably understood than I understand in the average Russian movie put in front of me.
This weekend, we had the chance to go to Kant, a major town outside of Bishkek. I think people in Kyrgyzstan consider Bishkek to be the only actual “city” because Janat, Jacob’s host sister, kept referring to Bishkek as “the city”. We walked around the park, the bazaars, and even the newest mall. Other volunteers were visiting as well, so we were able to stop and say hi to them throughout the day. Alex, Jacob, Janat, and I all went; everyone else was traveling or having family over/parties. We ate lunch at Imperial Pizza, a sort of high-end-ish place. We got one large pizza for about 9$. Some bigger towns and areas have ATMs which I’ve used- most villages don’t, but they do have machines to pay your phone bill!
I will say something I want to do more of is guest/ go out with my own host family. Just visit other people, talk to other people, travel to bazaars, and see more. Once Eliza quit her job, she has been on and off studying, watching stuff off Zetflix (which is Russian Netflix by the way), and sleeping. My host family is very hospitable and kind, but it takes a lot of energy to involve myself. A pillar of community integration is doing your own chores and helping out around the house. Unfortunately, the current dynamic is that I’m the only person now to leave the house daily and regularly throughout the week (my host mom and sister go out to Bishkek once a week usually) which means most of the chores get done while I'm away. I’ve gotten better at preparing my tea, attempting to clean dishes (usually failing as my host mom regularly tells me not to and to leave it on the table), and I clean my room once a week and handwash my clothes once or twice a week.
I’m happy that most of the stuff I enjoyed back home I can still do here, download new music (Yay Speak Now), watch YouTube videos for a long time, buy myself and my host family lots of candy, eat chocolate wafers, and take a relatively hot shower, and pee inside (in my own house, other’s houses varies). There are things I miss of course, already pressing in my mind, but things I’ll get used to: I miss Tex-Mex the most (I really want some queso, guacamole, or salsa), my shin ramen from college, being able to go #2 inside, cold milk and orange juice (there is juice here, I just drink tea EVERY SINGLE MEAL because that’s what’s available. I’ve had hot boiling milk and it is *mushy* and bad), AC, Bean back home, Netflix (it works at our hub site but not in my village, I suspect it’s the network- I am scared to try Zetflix, and I have strong suspicions it won't have English subtitles nor Kyrgyz audio), Chick-Fil-A, and ice. I miss ice so much; ice is just like not a thing here. They refrigerate their drinks of course, but that’s mostly sealed drinks like soda or cold tea. Most drinks here are hot, which is a result of needing to boil/filter water. I’ve been tempted to buy an ice tray, but perhaps that’s too American imposing.
I feel my age, and that’s both in Kyrgyz culture but also around the rest of the cohort. I think I’m both immature and mature for my age in different ways, but I feel both of those here constantly. It’s also explicit in the language, people older than you get the honorific eje or baike. I’m not that much younger than a good chunk of them (5-6 are 22, I think), and my birthday is coming up soon, so I’ll be 21. I haven’t ordered a drink here yet, but maybe next week in Bishkek! The elevation of age in Kyrgyz culture does worry me in some ways; you can’t avoid having imposter syndrome when you are endowed with a position of authority as a volunteer despite being barely out of college. I also feel the work transition, no longer being around your friends in the way I was in college a lot. I do wonder to myself why do Peace Corps right after college, it’s a question to me of when you build these skills necessary to be here, before or during service? Unless you have worldly experience otherwise, it is very hard to do this right after college, when you feel as if you haven’t lived a ton or done a lot. I can imagine it’s going to be harder during actual service. I get to have my 21st with my cohort, which makes me happy, even if I am sad I didn’t get to have it with my college friends.
On our second Sunday, we went to Santi’s place to celebrate his birthday. It was very fun; I taught them all my favorite card games, “Slimehead”, alternatively called “Palace” or “Shithead” (Pardon my French). We had what we call “green Shirley Temple”, a nonalcoholic green chaser. I can’t remember what we ate but the vibes were amazing.
We got to celebrate Eid (or Ait in Kyrgyz). For Eid, it means LOTS of guesting. From 11 am, after two hours of classes, we guested to eight different houses. I had to pace my food a lot. I went home extremely full, extremely exhausted, only to find my host apa hosting even more people at the house. One family was entirely random, a neighbor of Tess’ who invited us in, delighted to welcome Americans and delighted for their teenage son to practice English briefly. Our language teachers instructed everyone to simply offer light snacks and tea, but some houses served entire meals. Hard to complain about eating food.
When we visited Rich Rakhat’s house, the house already had a plethora of guests in the main dining room. Responsible Rakhat mentioned that sometimes guests on top of guests arrive at a house. They were intrigued to see Americans, and Alex, Santi, and I, as the youngest, had the honor to wash the family’s hands. The sheep was all cooked and prepared and we served the family in order of age and status. As per tradition, they offered us sheep fat (again, sheep ass) to consume which I did, very reluctantly. I’ve tried lots of Kyrgyz food already, and some delicacies can be found in the photo gallery :).
Everyone already has funny stories. Alex relayed the story of his host ata (dad) slaughtering a sheep, cutting the meat off its ass, and offering it casually to him, who grew red in the face. We also kind of, maybe, maybe not actually, broke a host family’s TV (we didn’t actually… but we sure as hell thought we did). We also watched Tropic Thunder at another’s.
On the second marshrutka ride, someone pointed out that the driver holds the money we give him the entire time we were riding. A random stranger/rider takes a seat next to the driver, helping him count and collect money and watch the road. Being socialized in the US, I could never trust someone like that, but it was interesting to see it in action. The marshrutka driver holds cash in his left hand, steering the wheel with his right. Another interesting tidbit about driving in Kyrgyzstan, at least where we are- which is close to the capital, so I assume it is similar even in remote places, is that there are no delineated lines. Drivers cut each other off all the time, go around each other as cars on the other time come barreling towards us. Drivers drive on the right (mostly), but in the cars themselves, the wheels can be on either the right or left, I’ve seen both. One of the staff told us that during the summer, masses drive to Issyk Kul, and it leads to higher rates of car accidents, because allegedly Kazakhs drive in when it’s hot, and that leads to road rage racing to get there first. The taxis make me the most scared; they drive 120-140 km/hour on emptier roads, narrowly cutting off other drivers with open windows (cars don’t have ac here either). Every time I sit in a fast taxi I feel as if I’m about to die. Probably something to get used to. To be fair, Texans can be fast drivers too.
I’ve already learned a lot by being here, and the layers upon layers of family dynamics start to unfurl. I learned my host mom actually has six siblings, as I had assumed she and her baike were the only ones. All of them live in the village! Most of the families in the village are related, and many of the other volunteers' families are also related. Zachary’s mom’s sister is my mom’s sister-in-law, making Zachary and me distant in-laws… somehow. My language group and I see a nice two-story house next to our Rakhat eje’s house every day and we always wondered who owned it… turns out it’s my taike’s! (Some background, a baike is an uncle or older brother, or a general name for a man older than you, while a taike is a maternal uncle- so my host mom’s baike is my taike, I hope that makes sense).
This week, I also learned in the course of a night that my absent baike (my host mom’s son) who is in Moscow recently married, and his wife sent money for our family to buy an electric and gas stove, a new sink, and a new oven. #poshcorps. Currently, it’s all sitting in the kitchen. I also learned my host mom is a Jehovah’s Witness, which I’m not sure how I didn’t figure that out. My taike is atheist, as is my host sister, and my taike jokingly called me and them communists. Considering that Kyrgyzstan is like over 80-90% Muslim and like 8% Christian, of whom the vast majority are Orthodox, my host family is probably the single Jehovah’s Witness family in the whole Rayon (rayon- county) or country.
As days pass by, I relish some of the routine but also the surprise. I get sleepy in class always, and by the afternoon, I am exhuasted, which our teacher knows. My ADHD isn't helping; I've found standing, eating candy or gum, and doodling to be helpful in concentrating. I got to meet in person one of the K-28 cohort members, Ada, currently stationed in Naryn. Her Kyrgyz proficiency is quite good, as one would expect after a year. Hearing from a current volunteer is so immensely helpful in knowing the current conditions and also formulating what I would like. Also hearing how accommodating PC is to your desires for a permanent site. I want to be somewhere cold (ish), with a nice view (greenery), and a big family. I’m lucky to be a part of K-29, according to her, during covid years, last year, they all stayed in a sort of big hotel during PST. No host families (except for a lunch they had during the weekends), so little incentive to practice. She said we’re already fast ahead of where she was at this point in PST, which I think can be comforting to hear. She’s still learning and practicing her Kyrgyz, and I’ve heard you can get tutors once you’re on-site, which is something I think I’ll want to do. Apparently, during the winter, there’s no fruit or veggies, so most of the food is only meat. I’m not particularly looking forward to that. She also mentioned the other difficulties: being alone and isolated, feeling like you aren’t close to your Kyrgyz community due to a language barrier, worries about pay, and PC not paying enough.
I got to meet a bunch of kids behind my house the other day. One repeatedly kept saying “ni hao” to me over and over again and another screamed an English cuss word to me while jumping up and down on his bike. I responded to the kid in Chinese, and he, not knowing any Chinese, but instead assuming I did, just responded “Ni hao”. Most kids here speak Russian to us.
The one thing I love here is the katuu shamal, the strong wind that flows through the windows. It rains sometimes, and it can be accompanied by wind or dust. It’s most hot from 1-5, and by early evening it cools down. The evening has been much nicer, and sometimes I just want to walk around, always looking for a beautiful sunset. My taike comes over often; I finally realized my host mom’s siblings, all of them, live in this village. I think I internalized and assumed that she was a lonely person in this village, transposing my limited family back home onto her without realizing what a sprawling and warm family she actually has. Her parents are the ones who live far away in the mountains. He showed me photos of all his travels and time around Kyrgyzstan. He said he is a sheep and chicken farmer, but whenever I walk by his house, I never see any chicken nor sheep. Shrug*. The daily shepherds, often very young children, with big sticks walking around flanked by sheep is still something I haven’t gotten used to. Nor the cow herds nor the men riding horses throughout the village in the evening. You can step right outside and run into a cow or a sheep.
Because my host sister recently quit her job, she’s in the house a lot more often, and I appreciate being able to practice my Krygyz more. The Krussian is still very strong in the house. I have an ear for it at this point, and I’m still pretty unwilling to learn Russian. I suppose now is the best time, and I’ve always wanted to learn all the major languages (I got English, Chinese, French, and Spanish- and by that, I mean I could probably give basic introductions and ask for help in all of them), and Arabic is on my list. Russian just sounds much much harder. I suppose I should turn on Duolingo and just become a sponge.
I watched Doctor Strange the other day; I streamed it off of my host sister’s computer. We watched it in English with Russian subtitles, and perhaps I shouldn’t have done that because she told me that the subtitles weren’t correct. I was able to read like 5% of the subtitles due to cognates and general knowledge, and I think because it’s a Marvel and action movie, more was probably understood than I understand in the average Russian movie put in front of me.
This weekend, we had the chance to go to Kant, a major town outside of Bishkek. I think people in Kyrgyzstan consider Bishkek to be the only actual “city” because Janat, Jacob’s host sister, kept referring to Bishkek as “the city”. We walked around the park, the bazaars, and even the newest mall. Other volunteers were visiting as well, so we were able to stop and say hi to them throughout the day. Alex, Jacob, Janat, and I all went; everyone else was traveling or having family over/parties. We ate lunch at Imperial Pizza, a sort of high-end-ish place. We got one large pizza for about 9$. Some bigger towns and areas have ATMs which I’ve used- most villages don’t, but they do have machines to pay your phone bill!
I will say something I want to do more of is guest/ go out with my own host family. Just visit other people, talk to other people, travel to bazaars, and see more. Once Eliza quit her job, she has been on and off studying, watching stuff off Zetflix (which is Russian Netflix by the way), and sleeping. My host family is very hospitable and kind, but it takes a lot of energy to involve myself. A pillar of community integration is doing your own chores and helping out around the house. Unfortunately, the current dynamic is that I’m the only person now to leave the house daily and regularly throughout the week (my host mom and sister go out to Bishkek once a week usually) which means most of the chores get done while I'm away. I’ve gotten better at preparing my tea, attempting to clean dishes (usually failing as my host mom regularly tells me not to and to leave it on the table), and I clean my room once a week and handwash my clothes once or twice a week.
I’m happy that most of the stuff I enjoyed back home I can still do here, download new music (Yay Speak Now), watch YouTube videos for a long time, buy myself and my host family lots of candy, eat chocolate wafers, and take a relatively hot shower, and pee inside (in my own house, other’s houses varies). There are things I miss of course, already pressing in my mind, but things I’ll get used to: I miss Tex-Mex the most (I really want some queso, guacamole, or salsa), my shin ramen from college, being able to go #2 inside, cold milk and orange juice (there is juice here, I just drink tea EVERY SINGLE MEAL because that’s what’s available. I’ve had hot boiling milk and it is *mushy* and bad), AC, Bean back home, Netflix (it works at our hub site but not in my village, I suspect it’s the network- I am scared to try Zetflix, and I have strong suspicions it won't have English subtitles nor Kyrgyz audio), Chick-Fil-A, and ice. I miss ice so much; ice is just like not a thing here. They refrigerate their drinks of course, but that’s mostly sealed drinks like soda or cold tea. Most drinks here are hot, which is a result of needing to boil/filter water. I’ve been tempted to buy an ice tray, but perhaps that’s too American imposing.
I feel my age, and that’s both in Kyrgyz culture but also around the rest of the cohort. I think I’m both immature and mature for my age in different ways, but I feel both of those here constantly. It’s also explicit in the language, people older than you get the honorific eje or baike. I’m not that much younger than a good chunk of them (5-6 are 22, I think), and my birthday is coming up soon, so I’ll be 21. I haven’t ordered a drink here yet, but maybe next week in Bishkek! The elevation of age in Kyrgyz culture does worry me in some ways; you can’t avoid having imposter syndrome when you are endowed with a position of authority as a volunteer despite being barely out of college. I also feel the work transition, no longer being around your friends in the way I was in college a lot. I do wonder to myself why do Peace Corps right after college, it’s a question to me of when you build these skills necessary to be here, before or during service? Unless you have worldly experience otherwise, it is very hard to do this right after college, when you feel as if you haven’t lived a ton or done a lot. I can imagine it’s going to be harder during actual service. I get to have my 21st with my cohort, which makes me happy, even if I am sad I didn’t get to have it with my college friends.
I’ve begun to develop FOMO, and Jacob tells me all the time to stop having it, and I know he’s right. It’s easy to have FOMO about other people (an old college acquaintance is currently on a summer-long tour all over Europe), and it’s even easier to have FOMO about other volunteers even in your own village. It’s a cruel thing to think when I remain fortunate compared to locals here and even the average American, but it can’t always be helped. My mom tells me my sister is going to go to New Orleans next year… I - (for background- In May, my mom took my sister and me to NOLA for a graduation gift/going away party- my sister and I both graduated, and I’m in love with the city mostly due to its vampiric pop culture presence, its plethora of art and history museums, and its bar and club scene which I hope to go back to). And yet. In the end, life is the sum of the things you did, not the things you didn’t.
I try to remember that, and when I do, I remember long walks watching the sunset, sitting underneath the stars, listening to a driver’s fire playlist (Alors on Danse, Get Lucky, Bailando) while he drove 140 km/hour down the road, the sound of thunderstorms and rain falling on my windowsill, cold chills when I go to use the outhouse at 1 in the morning, the daily rooster’s call, the lunch prayer, the herds of sheep, cows, and horses in large fields, and the great sights of mountains far off in the distance. In the end, I am seeing the world the way I wanted to see it, the way I have always longed to, and the way I got to in Lagos, Rome, and even Austin. I longed to live a full human experience, not wanting tourist stops and Instagram photos (but those are nice!), but the nature and the food, and the guesting, and the parties, and the stuffy and cramped rides on marshrutkas, and the smelly outhouses, and the long walks home (the smoke is not my favorite), and the weird looks and the humiliating attempts to speak Kyrgyz; I wanted it all because to see the world is to see all of it, to see its dimensions and complexities, its disappointments and failings and its beauties and its joys.
À Bientôt,
Grace
PS. I decided I'll include some music I'm listening to! English music unfortunately, but I've been trying to get into Russian, Uzbek, and Kyrgyz music, but it's a work in progress. I also do change my music frequently, so it'll change a lot over the course of my service. Mainstream pop, indie pop, and alternative are my genres of choice. Vampire- Olivia Rodrigo
My Blood- Ellie Goulding
Broken Ones- Illenium and Anna Clendening
Play with Fire- Sam Tinnesz
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