Chicken Tenders, Collections, and Celebrations

Salut, 

When I started my blog, I thought I wouldn’t have a lot to say between two-week increments. After all, what could change? What new things could I say? By my own math, if I continue this biweekly until I COS (close of service- finish my 2 years), I should have well over fifty blog posts by then, right? I assumed I would run out of new material, new insights, and new observations. Of course, service and Kyrgyz culture are infinitely fascinating, and I know even fifty blog posts probably couldn’t sufficiently explain everything. In one way, it’s sad, because I brought two physical journals, but these blogposts are long enough that it’s probably unneeded. But thank you to anyone who has read these. 

All of this is to say, that the last two weeks have been SO long. Like, I’ve never felt so free in my time but also occupied, if that makes sense. 

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I had been preparing for my Halloween party I was throwing. For any American celebration, it will mostly fall to me and my counterpart to run it. There are two other English teachers, but I hardly talk to them (I should more!), but for Halloween, it was just Baku and I decorating. The other teachers come to observe and help corral the children but otherwise look on in fascination. 

The Halloween party itself was so much fun! It was the last week of the quarter, and a lot was going on (but also simultaneously nothing at all). Baktygul enlisted the 10th graders to help decorate the gym (and we got the 5th graders to blow up balloons for us). The 10th-grade boys jumped onto the grated windows (like 8-10 ft above the ground), covering them in blankets and tarps to darken the room. Baktygul told all the students to wear costumes; naturally, many didn’t, but the ones who did completely slayed! Lots of creative ones, and some students, even if they didn’t have a costume, drew spiders or fun designs on their faces. When I went to corral the students into the gym, I ran through the school and found the older 10th and 11th-grade girls drawing on the young students' faces, and my heart warmed. 

During the celebration itself, we had three games. The 5th-grade students made mummies of their peers with toilet paper, and I probably let the game go too long -- and probably gave the students too much paper-- because by the end they got completely covered! We had 8th-grade students do the spoon egg run relay race, and 6th-grade students did a game of charades with words like vampire, werewolf, ghost, etc. Some of the 7th and 8th grade students did a thriller dance, too. 

Finally, we had a costume runway. One student made wings out of cardboard and garbage bags, and another student came as Maleficent. I went as Mary Poppins (hey it was a very last-minute decision, I made it as I was preparing to go to school, and it only involved a skirt, a white blouse, my black bucket hat, and an umbrella). Baktygul and a few other students recognized what I was. After the formal celebration was over, we had a discoteca dance party, the first time I got to dance with the students. Baktygul kept trying to stop the party so students could leave, but the 10th graders controlled the speaker system and used my phone to play songs. I realized students are the best place to get song recommendations from, so now I have a large plethora!

Wednesday, dia de los Muertos, Baktygul was having what she calls a gap, which is a semi-frequent (monthly, so I’ve heard, but it varies) meeting of girls in the city to eat and socialize. My sister-in-law, Aidana, went a few weeks ago, and Baktygul invited me to hers. We ate at the same place I ate with my host family for Adelia and Alihan’s birthday, Kok Janghak. A local favorite- or at least maybe of Baktygul- is chicken tenders. KFC is the only Western franchise restaurant, so I think that is a part of it (but there’s no KFC in Jalal Abad so I’ve seen). Her friends brought their babies, so there was lots of crying. Emir, Aidana’s two-year-old, is giving me migraines from his terrible twos, and constant shrieking, and I need aspirin. 

That was not the last celebration! Thursday, we had the Autumn Ball. I can’t remember the Kyrgyz name, but in my case, it was a celebration for the older students, a sort of formal dance, and I was allowed to ditch class and watch it. It was relatively short, and it featured 10th and 11th-grade students paired - boy and girl- and they danced to an English love song. I find the ubiquity of English music interesting despite them not knowing it (I mean I love Spanish music so I guess I can’t say anything). It almost feels like knowing an inside secret, especially because Baktygul wasn’t there, so I was the only one in the entire room to understand it. Randomly hearing English voices or music on my host sister’s phone as they scroll through TikTok. Being the only one not understanding my teacher’s long speeches, yet being the only one to understand random English videos or music is a perplexing feeling, and sometimes in its own way, isolating. Otherwise, the Autumn Ball was fantastic, and after the formal part of it, the teachers closed the room’s door, turned off the lights, and left the students to their extremely loud music and discoteca dance party. Mind you, this was still during school hours, so 6th-8th graders were still in class and ran through the school, with killer looks of envy on their faces. 

Simultaneously, while this was all happening, my host father, and Frank, and my dog Bean, celebrated their birthdays on that Thursday. For my host dad, I bought some candles and some blow-up balloons to celebrate his 65th. His and my host mom’s birthdays were more subdued than Alihan or Adelia’s, but they went to the amusement park while I was dancing at the Autumn Ball. Frank said his family made him Lagman, which I silently, and also not silently, was jealous about. Oh, I also learned my host mom doesn’t like Lagman, which tragically explains why we have never eaten it. 

That weekend, to celebrate Frank’s birthday, we went to the Jalal Abad sanatorium. So, I didn’t actually know what a sanatorium was but had heard there are some in the mountainous areas. A soviet Sanatorium is different from what your dictionary says a sanatorium, but the vibes are similar. It was this hospital, spa, wellness-type place. But it was also a sprawling place with cafes, fountains and wells, and shops, atop the mountain. We went on a long walk which was fun and then came back down after 2 hours to do some shopping and eat lagman. 

So, my tangent for this blogpost, is that I have become a shopaholic and started amassing collections. Before my mom gets angry at me, it all has at least some practical utility. Stuff here is relatively cheap, and it is actually an opportunity to buy stuff I otherwise wouldn’t in the States. For example, I’ve started buying lots of decorative stickers, the water bottle and laptop kind, as they are only 10 som/ a piece (10 som= 11 cents). So now I have like thirty. Also, I’ve become convinced (rightly so) that I need more socks for the upcoming winter. The socks sellers in the bazaar sell three pairs for 100 som (1.12$) (and their quality is okay to good), and for the thicker winter socks, they’re 2 for 1.12$. Before, I was collecting new jewelry, new earrings, and a few necklaces, as I hadn’t bought new earrings in quite some time (a lot of my stash before was from when I was a teenager in middle and high school). But, as the earrings here are affordable, I’d been buying more appropriate earrings and hoops. Recently, I also bought some lipstick (makeup in the US is expensive yall), but the makeup brushes and sponges here are also all cheaper. Okay, so maybe, in summary, I’m not living the exact same as a local because I’m a bad spender, but I promise it’s all useful!

My second tangent before I talk about my break is that as I talk to more and more volunteers, it’s important to acknowledge how vast and different our experiences are and how a lot of that is influenced by how we present and our identity. I was told by others, which I have mentioned in this blog before, that I look slightly Kyrgyz looking. (The sticker seller was one of those people!) There are a few other volunteers who also have been told that, but most volunteers cannot pass as Kyrgyz. They are obvious foreigners, and that attracts attention, both positive and negative. I can pass as Kyrgyz sometimes, and it is one of those situations where I’m not sure how much I do pass and how much I don’t but people simply don’t comment. Frank, the other volunteer in my village, has told me how much staring he receives (he is white and 6’2  or something, and he also regularly commutes to school via our busy village center while I don’t), and other volunteers have said the same. Even if I don’t pass as Kyrgyz, I’m Asian enough that people rarely comment or ask questions purely based on how I look. They speak to me in Russian, so they must sometimes acknowledge my foreignness, but I rarely feel stares or have excessive unwanted questions. Similarly, my youth has prevented me from receiving a constant barrage of questions about my marital status. People sometimes ask, and it never bothers me. I’ve gathered that people here marry relatively young, consistently around 20-25 for women and men around 22-27 or later. 20-25 is not very young, but being unmarried past those ages elicits lots of questions. Attention, questions, interest, and curiosity are all welcome and a part of the Peace Corps experience, a chance to explain American culture and to show the diversity of American people. It also means all of our experiences are valid despite our vastly different ones. 

During breaks or vacations, it’s common for women to leave their husband’s houses and in-laws and spend time with their parents. As such, Aidana, the children, and I went to visit her parent’s house. Her father dropped a thick stack of photos and picture frames in my lap, all taken at tois (mostly weddings), and he has a very distinctive face so I was able to recognize him in all of them. I haven’t been to as many tois as maybe I want to, but the goal is to go to several and have lots as he does. By the time it was late, Aidana’s extended family had all arrived in droves, and her grandmother was a funny presence who corrected the way I was eating ash. Aidana and the kids spent the night at her house, and I went home. 

So while this was all happening, my host mom had her sister-in-law and her grandchild visiting us. Her sister-in-law is a teacher, and her children live in the US, so she takes care of her grandchild, Cu Maya (Cu Mai means like olive or vegetable oil which I find funny, cu means water and mai means like butter). When I came home after guesting at Aidana’s house, Cu Maya was running around the house. The house felt strangely empty without Adelia and Alihan’s warm presence, and it reminded me of that episode from iCarly, iSpaceout. Did you ever watch iCarly? Anyway, spoilers for that specific episode, but Carly’s brother, Spencer, begins to hallucinate (maybe or maybe not- it’s unclear if it’s real or not) a young girl running around his apartment after Carly temporarily leaves to go to space with her friends (yes it sounds weird to go watch the episode). A therapist explains to Spencer that he is hallucinating a young girl because he misses Carly. The girl leaves when Carly comes back. The second Adelia and Alihan came back, Cu Maya and her grandmother left. So I felt like I was in that episode of iCarly, and the two days felt like a fever dream. 

(Temporary side tangent too: I learned recently that headscarves, besides being worn to signify marriage status, are worn in front of the woman’s in-laws as a sign of respect. It is customary for a woman to wear it consistently after marriage, but it becomes optional many years later around other people. I noticed Aidana, when my host parents were gone, or when we were at her parents’ house, temporarily took hers off. Also, head scarves here don’t necessarily cover the neck as hijabs do, so the marriage head scarf is pretty distinctive from the Islamic hijab - although lots of women are both devout Muslims and also married. The marriage head scarf resembles how I might wear a bandana, tied under the neck but not covering the face or neck). 

Baktygul also went to her parents' house, but when she came back, I visited her house, too. I taught her son and her how to play Uno. I played Uno with my host cousins back in my village in training, but this time I had to explain it, because Uno is not common knowledge here, unfortunately. I also taught them Go Fish, and I was going to teach them how to play BS when her 3-year-old daughter interrupted, abruptly ending our game. I haven’t taught my family here to play it because Aidana’s kids are all very young, and even if I tried to play with the adults, the kids would cry at the exclusion. I choose my battles here. 

On Thursday, I went with Baktygul and the other teachers to eat chicken tenders at a cafe in our village (two chicken tender outings in two weeks!). I’m immensely fortunate my village has several cafes- at least 4 I’m aware of around the village center. Apparently, chicken tenders are extremely common and popular here, as my host parents have brought them back from guesting several times. Also, additional side tangent, but Samsung Galaxy cameras are really bad! Maybe I’m very spoiled with my iPhone, but comparatively, it’s so much better and clearer. 

Aidana recently got me into milking the goats in our backyard. She milks them nearly every day to get milk for the kids. I was successful the first time, albeit slow, and failed the second time. Yes, it’s been this long since I’ve been in Kyrgyzstan and haven’t milked an animal, it’s strange. I need to get out more. Aidana looked at me funny when I asked if any of the barn animals had names (not even the bunny! 🙁). 

The American Corner (see my earlier blog post, the Power of Observation), the place where I judged the spelling bee, contacted us volunteers to ask to continue to help their English talking club. I agreed to go on Friday, which I did by myself, and the director, Manas, asked me to talk about native Americans. I showed up, and without any preparation, just went on a ramble about some native American history, their presence in the United States, tribal status and reservations, the presence of casinos, codetalkers and the Navajos, their limited representation in Congress, and the story of Thanksgiving. Something I had noticed in Chuy but confirmed all the more here is that once students begin to study English in college, their English is good. I met a few students at the talking club who understood the vast majority of my 15-20 minute “lecture”. Afterward, we just had a sort of freestyle chit-chat, and one student asked me about my bucket list plans and what I would ask my 30-year-old self (insane she was able to ask me that in basically perfect English). We also discussed the difficulty surrounding studying and learning English, but the students were amazing! Manas took me to eat after. 

Once I got home, lots of the other Peace Corps K-29 girlies were having a Google Meet call to talk about our challenges and successes here in the country, both as individuals and also as women. I think I keep my circle relatively small, which doesn’t mean I don’t dislike or am distant from the other volunteers, but that I’m not in on the wider knowledge or gossip or difficulties lots of other volunteers talk about. So in that way, it was a window into hearing about some of the other girls' honest problems. I think that sometimes it can feel like you’re suffering alone, or that your challenges are your own. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong, that I’m having a harder time than others, or that I’m being a worse volunteer than others. I won’t specify what they said, but there was a strange comfort in knowing that we all can relate to similar challenges, whether it is with our host families, counterparts, travel restrictions, and feelings of isolation or loneliness. 

This past Saturday in Jalal Abad city, I unintentionally bought a bunch of Kyrgyz clothing. So, unlike some of the other volunteers who come into the city with concrete plans or a shopping list, I have a habit of stuff I need swirling around as thoughts in my head. Or, as a squirrel brain, I look at something in the bazaar, and say “Oh, I need that!” Anyway, I bought a chapan and then a winter coat. I have the thick black puffy ones for *cold cold* weather, but I needed one for just *cold* weather, you know what I mean? After agonizing over colors, one of the sellers handed me a gorgeous dark blue coat, but it was missing its buttons and had threads coming out of it. Luckily for me, my host mom is/was a tailor, so I decided we’d DIY it, and I successfully managed to buy it for only 8$. The bazaar is full of everything, so I bought wooden buttons, and then my host mom sewed it for me, and now I have a rockin’ winter jacket. 

On my last day of the vacation, Frank and I went to visit Vanessa, the other volunteer in our immediate area (the other three are in a different raion- think like county). So last time I visited Frank, his family invited me over, but then his mother wasn’t there, his father was asleep in their car, and his sister disappeared so it ended up only being us two despite the fact his family was the one to invite me. This time, Vanessa invited us to eat with her family, but her family wasn’t there (her young sister and brothers were, but her parents were at a toi). She made Mexican food for us (birria). She cooks all her own meals, and it was a well-deserved spicy dish, which I’d been craving. 

Oh, my host dad got a new job! As I said in my last blog post, my host dad had been talking about getting new work once winter comes, as his previous job (construction or something) would be over. He recently got a job as a cook/baker in my village center, cooking shashluk and samsa. To my understanding, Daniel, my host brother, also works there. Unfortunately, while they are earning a good income, they also have become much much busier-- my host dad says he works 10-12 hours a day, and I’d noticed it. Recently, he’s been out late, once so late, I had already gone to bed. His construction friends I think also joined him, so now they are continuing to live in our guest house and eating with us. It’s nice because sometimes they make us ash, which relieves Aidana from cooking (but not from cleaning up lol). I haven’t figured out his schedule yet. 

I needed the break to mentally reset, but it also posed an opportunity to do a lot of things I hadn’t done before, namely visiting lots of people. Part of me wanted to go to Arslanbob (the famous walnut forest), which fell apart due to rain and logistics. So, maybe you’re wondering, as I definitely was, though I’d mentioned it, what do Kyrgyz teachers and students do during the break? It was not a break for university students, only primary and secondary school (I’ve been training myself to say that because middle and high school don’t register with people here). It wasn’t a break for my own host family. Teachers look after their children, and some of them worked at the school for a few hours (finalizing grades). When I looked around, I saw lots of students in the stadion- sports field- right outside my house playing. They also play volleyball- though I’m not sure where- so far it’s only hearsay. When I went to Baktygul’s house, her son seemed profoundly bored. Often, it seems their hobbies boil down to outside football/volleyball and using their phone, for TikTok, which is unfortunate.  

The break is over, and two weeks until IST. The last two weeks have been a gift, some of it slow and some of it fast. Always interesting. Always full of life, full of warmth. As I reflect on why I came to Kyrgyzstan, I am reminded of the hospitality and the kindness. Stuff waxes and wanes, it burns slowly or explodes in your face. You confront it head-on, or you swerve and miss. I still am not used to fast drivers, and sometimes I’m convinced my life flashes in front of my eyes in taxis (which probably doesn’t comfort my mom). It’s all worth it for the windows rolled down, the wind whipping your hair, watching the snowy mountains in the distance. It’s sweater and jacket weather now (no snow here yet!). I would say my first break feels different than the first week I was here. It would have been easy to just hermit inside my house. I’m happy I continue to peel back layers here and continue to find connections (American Corner being a big one). Alihan and Adelia continue to remain adorable. Life’s a lot of things out here, occasionally boring, occasionally chaotic, occasionally absurd, and occasionally heart-warming, but it’s always brimming with life, with genuity, and I could live in these moments forever. 

À Bientôt,

Grace

PS. Music playlist drop! https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/pl.u-EdAVo7rta1B496x I'm sorry it's apple music, I don't use Spotify :(