On the Well-worn Paths

Salut,

I didn’t expect the last few weeks to at once feel so busy but also so empty. I often have lamented at how much extra free time I have, as opposed to being out and about. I certainly didn’t have that problem this time around. I remember June of last year and feeling that sense of emptiness. A sort of nothingness creeping up due to the end of the school year. At the beginning of June last year, I was visited by Bhaavya and we went on a grand tour around Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan. I haven’t embarked on something quite like that, but the house is always busy. 

Immediately after school and graduation ended, the teachers and I were invited to a large wedding. Aldoberdi’s (the chemistry teacher) son was getting married. All the weddings I have been to have been because I know the groom’s family, which I find a bit of a coincidence. Baktygul was unable to come, as her husband hadn’t given her permission, which is point blank what I told the other teachers when they asked her whereabouts. Regardless, the wedding was a lot of fun. Most weddings have minigames and prizes, and at that wedding, our table had the biggest haul. We got 4 prizes, a record! I got two, one for being the first to dance when they started the music, and then second, when they started a geography game, asking us to name a country based on its flag they projected onto the screen and then asked for the capital. I know my vexillology through and through, and I was half miffed when the US came up, they didn’t call on me, and then the guesser said New York City as the capital. Rooky mistake. I got a new kettle and a clothing iron, which I both pawned off to my host family, neither of which I can pack. Anyway, besides the games, the wedding was very standard. Numerous venues within Jalal-Abad city host weddings, I’ve been to maybe 5 or 6 of them, collecting them like Pokemon. 

This post may be a bit all over the place chronologically, as a lot was going on. I went to a second wedding, which I was invited to by Tess, as her host sister was getting married. She invited everyone in the south (and some others), and I think it was around 10-11 of us who ended up able to attend, and we had our own volunteer table. Going to a wedding with other volunteers was something I had never done before. The wedding was in a raion outside of Osh, and it also started significantly later than other weddings I’ve been to. We arrived the day of very early when pre-wedding festivities were being celebrated. I had previously been to a kuzu atu toi, which is a sort of bridal party that usually occurs a week or so before the wedding. The day of the festivities was very fun, as it was held at a house, in this case, the bride’s family’s house, but I’m not sure if that’s the norm. Regardless, there isn’t a hiding the bride’s dress custom, so the bride was walking around the party in her dress, even sitting on the floor in it, which didn't look comfortable. At the pre-wedding festivities, the house is full, and well-wishers, family, and friends all were visiting and eating food and dancing in the courtyard. I earned Best Toi Dancer superlative in my cohort for a reason. In the middle of our dancing, a young toddler began to urinate out in the open crowd, and a volunteer had the misfortune of her dress being in the splash zone. During the height of the festivities, a popular custom is the hiding of the bride. The groomsmen and groom all go looking for her and bring her out. It vaguely reminds me of the kidnapping of the bride custom I’d read about in places like Mongolia (or at least in the times of the Mongolian Empire) and ancient Sparta, where the groom must find the bride (and sometimes offer a gift/dowry/money for her). Kyrgyz bride kidnapping is something else entirely, and I’m not getting into that. The bride and groom emerged from the house to the cheers and jeers of everyone, and everyone offered cash and kalpaks and scarves. 

After the pre-wedding ceremony, most of the party dispersed, some still in prep, others going to take photos, while our party, we all went up to the mountains. Tess’ mom told us to go take a marshrutka they held for us and relax in the mountains for an hour before the wedding. Kara Koi, which I’ll elaborate on in a moment, is a famous jailoo in the south. As a reminder, a jailoo is a mountainous area and field where livestock are herded when summer comes. Jailoo is also where Kyrgyz people tend to relax and vacation in the summer due to the cooler temperatures. Camps will set up yurts and swings and volleyball courts for tourists or others. Son Kol which I went to last year is sort of a jailoo. It’s just a super remote mountainous camp. I’ve been to various jailoos over the last two years, in Naryn, in Jalal-Abad, and in Osh now. I know the volunteers in Naryn go to jailoo a lot; Naryn Oblast is basically its own jailoo. Anyway, all of us volunteers, we went, and we took cute photos, and then the wedding itself started late, around 9-9:30 PM. Due to Kyrgyz time, it will advertise itself as starting at 6 PM, but in my experience in Jalal-Abad, starts around 7-8 PM. With Tess being directly in the wedding party, and her house being where we spent the night, it meant we had a bit more of a hands-on approach to cleaning and preparing for the wedding, and it reminded me a bit of Elise’s wedding in all the chaos. 

Tess’ sister’s wedding was overall good, if not a bit chaotic. The venue was abnormally hot, with broken AC, which doesn’t lend itself well to already hot temperatures, 250+ guests, and lots of dancing/partying. We stepped out a lot more for fresh air, and to avoid some guests who deign to make themselves a little too comfortable with us and other female guests. Personally, I had gotten used to it; being an above-average dancer meant that at weddings, available bachelors would get thrown by their mothers and aunts at me to dance with. Few have ever been talented dancers. I’m not even referencing a slow dance, I’m referencing a party dance when they get in your face. The wedding ended eventually around 1 AM, and we got home and settled and asleep by 2:30. 

Baktygul departed to go to AUCA (American University of Central Asia). Last summer, while I was in Bishkek for medical reasons, I visited her and the campus, where she now is working on her Master, and she’s entering her second and final year in the fall. I visited her and ate with her family before I left. She'll be there for most of the summer, which is a shame, as she wasn't around for all my goings on. 

Emily’s host family owns a bakery and a cafe, and they invited us to visit and eat with them. Her host mother seemed lovely, and they fed us some excellent cooked fish. After, we went to the city, where we saw and visited the International Turkish University graduation ceremony. As I said before, it’s the other volunteers who know a lot of the people in Jalal-Abad city, but they knew someone graduating, so we went. University graduation doesn’t have an official date like public primary and secondary schools do in Kyrgyzstan, so they sort of happen whenever. High school here doesn’t do the cap and gown, but universities here do! Their gowns are different based on their major, not their school, so unfortunately, I didn’t see any distinct gowns like American universities do. In the US, lots of universities have famous gown designs, colors, patterns, etc, and maybe the stoles will have unique colors based on majors. It often meant amongst famous and well-known universities, you could tell where someone graduated from just by their gown. I know there has been some tension between Turkey and Kyrgyzstan. A few weeks ago, a large fire (possibly arson) broke out at a Turkish school in Jalal-Abad city, destroying several classrooms. 

I got invited to a second graduation, it being at Modern International University. At this university, I have had some talking clubs bimonthly since October, and one of the heads of the English department invited Vanessa and me to go. They gifted us bouquets (I gave Aidana a LOT of flowers, which she put in vases and decorated the house with), and the teachers treated us to a cafe afterwards. These universities are quite small. They graduate in small classes of a couple hundred, maybe a thousand. Nurbek, the head, claimed that the university enrolled thousands of students (but that included PhD, masters, and college students- who are technically what we could consider in America high schoolers or dual-credit kids (aged 15-17). I just think back to UT Austin, with around 8-10k graduates per class. Something interesting I noticed at both graduations, which you can see in the photo, is that at these universities, in addition to diplomas they give out to students, they also give out certificates to the graduates' parents. Vanessa and I asked Nurbek about this, and he said it's a sort of reward and way to honor the parents' role in their children's education. 

Sometime later, I got invited to a Julduk. I’ve been to a few Julduks before, but they are quick and short affairs, usually only an hour, and meant to honor the 1st anniversary of someone’s passing. I admit to not always knowing the person in question being honored, but essentially they include lots of eating, praying, and recitations from the Qu’ran. That’s it. My fellow teachers have always been kind of last minute about plans or being indecisive about doing something until the last second. Baktygul keeps me in the loop even when she’s not physically in Jalal-Abad city, which I appreciate, even if it is unnecessary. I’ve rarely ever opted to say no to a wedding, a funeral party, or any sort of celebration. My host family is meh about it anyway, but the teachers asked if I was going the night before, and I said sure! We got gifted teapots at the julduk, which I again pawned off to my host family. My host father can be frank and self-critical about Kyrgyzstan, and he wondered aloud why a julduk host would give away teapots to every single attendee (I suspect 250-300 people were there, probably more), which would cost more than 500$. "Why do it? Everyone has a teapot, why bother?" He wondered.

Just recently, the teachers and I took a trip to Kara Koi. That’s the same place I mentioned we visited briefly while waiting for Tess’ sister’s wedding to start. In Tess’ case, we only went for an hour or so, to take pictures and enjoy the air. The teachers and I spent the night. Guljamal called me at 11 PM the night before and said, "Hey Grace, we’re going tomorrow at 6:30 AM, are you coming?" Of course, I said. Kara Koi is a solid 4-4.5 hours away, but we took a private marshrutka. It rained at least 4-5 times while we were there. Once there, we set up a picnic and tons of food we bought from our local grocery. Watermelon, cookies and baked goods, Pepsi and juice, chocolate wafers and candy. While the others napped, a few of the ladies and I walked down the road further to get closer to the river. This jailoo had fenced off a large portion of the glacial river, so we walked 15-20 minutes to get near the water. The cold was sorely needed; I’d been sweating in my bedroom for weeks. The jailoo had some service, but being in the middle of nowhere is always deeply relaxing. The literal “touch grass” people tell you to go and do. For some reason, I’ve been having trouble reading fiction; it’s just not gripping me and sticking with me the way it has all year, so I started reading some of John Green’s nonfiction work. 

We slept in a yurt, and we pulled all the quilts on the floor. We slept beneath the sound of pouring rain, and there’s nothing quite like that. Sometime on the day we left, it began to hail. I’d never seen hail in person in Kyrgyzstan before (Valerie mentioned seeing it). We slept some more, ate ash (plov) and soup and tons of our remaining food, and we departed, I got back home Sunday evening. 

At home, life is fun and crazy. Relatives from Russia have poured in. Elmira, her husband (I always forget his name), and Masha (her daughter), all came by car from Moscow, which takes 3.5-4 days. They have their own house, somewhere, I think I’ve seen it before. They come and visit very often, even spending the night. The house is so rarely empty, especially in the summer. Meder is still repairing away at an old car he bought from Bishkek to flip. Alihan and Emir have been visiting the doctor to get their documentation, health checks, and vaccinations in order. 

This summer, they started going to Kindergarten. Not the Kindergarten right by our house, of course, no they go to the one they have to be driven to every day at 7 in the morning. They seem to enjoy it, which ironically leaves Adelya bored out of her mind sometimes, with only the 2-year-old baby to keep her company. Both girls are too old or too young to attend. Our village also got a new Pizza and Sushi hole-in-the-wall takeaway place. My village is quite large, so a part of me is surprised it took so long. It replaced a meat shop attached to our supermarket, and it’s relatively affordable, not much more expensive than food in the city. I brought some home one time, and Aidana ate it all with me. The kids, my host parents, and Meder are all anti-sushi, which depresses me. I’ve grown to like sushi while here. 

That leaves me to the actual summer camp I hosted; I know, strange to be this far into the post and talking about it finally.  It lasted two weeks, like my one last year, and 2 hours a day. I didn’t coordinate a schedule as tightly as I did last year, considering how hectic things got. Last year, I also had way too many people, especially very young students. I advertised my camp as a 4-8th grade class only, as below 4th-grade students barely speak English, and the discrepancy between a 2nd grader and an 8th grader is insane. Last year, on the first few days, over 40 people showed up. This year, I had a good average of about 23-25 every day, which was far more manageable, and most were in 4th-7th grade. Also, to my advantage, this year I had ALL the new games and resources I brought from the US and also got from my grant. Bananagrams, new playing cards, a SMART board, word search books, and a reliable printer. Students who arrived early to my club I put to work by giving them difficult word searches to do. Even young kids who barely speak English can do basic word searches. 

Mondays were mostly that and physical games, including Uno, Guess Who, Bananagrams, chess and checkers, and Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza, amongst others. On Tuesdays, I had students work on the matching puzzles Baktygul and I made, and also had them use the SMART board to play matching on Quizlet. I also got the students to bring their phones (only half did, so I split them into teams), and we played Kahoot. Last year, I never managed to get my students to play Kahoot due to the sheer amount of work and coordination it required (finding the projector from whichever teacher had it, ensuring we had the key, setting it up, and hoping the power didn’t go out). Lots of what-ifs just to get it to work, but the board eliminated most of those problems, and it was a huge hit, especially for the young boys. Young boys aged 9-12 are some of the hardest group to keep their attention (behind them are 14-17 year old boys). They liked competing, and they were quite good. For movie days, I chose 6-7 movies for students to choose from and found Russian subtitles. 

Entertainment here is tricky. My host family watches regular children’s videos on YouTube, which I find mind-numbingly tedious. Yet other times, my host father will play extremely violent and graphic Russian films. Films will feature strippers in clubs and smoking and drinking and partial nudity, and the kids will just be wandering about. I had students as young as 5th grade telling me about the 2nd season of Squid Game, which is TV-MA and very gory, even my own family and friends avoid it. I had to be selective when choosing potential films; last year, I suspect I chose films that were considered “too immature” for 7-14-year-olds (Snow White, Cinderella, Shrek, etc.). They opted for the more dark Harry Potter last year. Anyway, this year I took the hint and chose some slightly older stuff, including Big Hero 6, Into the Spiderverse, Narnia, Star Wars, How to Train Your Dragon, and the live-action Aladdin, which is what they ended up choosing. I guess those young boys are indifferent to musicals, as several left about 45 minutes into the movie. In a TEFL club, visuals and music are key to keeping attention. 

During my second week, I added the live-action Lion King and Jungle Book to the mix and threw in Doctor Strange, one of my long-time favorite MCU films. Russia has its own rating system, and it goes like 6+, 8+, 12+, and 16+ among others, rather than generic PGs. Doctor Strange for whatever reason is PG-13 in the US and 16+ according to Russian ratings. The students all chose Doctor Strange, and I pointed out the 16+ rating to the students, the vast majority being 9-12 years old. Tatina, the oldest at 14, blew me off and said Kyrgyz children watch 16+, and 18+ movies all the time. Ok then. I’m not in the business of infantilizing my students, yet I also don’t need angry parents down my throat. Finally, on Thursdays, I brought sports equipment for them to play basketball, international football/soccer, badminton, table tennis, jump rope, etc. Some of the girls and I had a little photoshoot outside. During the second week, we played hide and go seek, which got annoying when our school director was trying to find me. After club every day, I settled into routines. I’d clean up, organize my stuff, and grab a popsicle from the next-door shop for 17 cents (15 com) to eat on my short walk home. 

Now the club is over. Life continues, and I see my students riding their bikes down the street or playing football in the field next to my house. It’s sometimes impossible to know when the last time you will see someone is. My neighbors have gone to Russia, and I miss them every day. My cousin Daniel departed a month ago for what I thought would be the last time I would see him, and then less than 2 weeks later, he came back. People move in and out of your life, and you cannot always hold onto everyone. My real American cousin just turned 9, and oh how old I feel, watching the years pass by so fast already. The days right now feel both long and terribly short, watching the lights flicker off for hours at a time. Jailoos are wonderful remedies, out in the middle of nowhere, where glacial water runs in rivulets, and shepherds on horses cut off cars and vans, livestock bringing traffic to a standstill. 

I probably have in me less than 2 blog posts left, one perhaps in July before I depart, and then maybe one final post after my close of service. The last 5 months have taught me that things can change rapidly and without any warning, and I didn’t expect this is what it would be like, politically, socially, and economically, when I am on the cusp of going home. I still have some goodbyes left in me, and now with my club over, that’s one more goodbye to most of my students. Lots of students will leave or go to jailoo in July, so it’s not worth it in my village to have another camp then. During this year’s camp, now in its second year, it felt easier, and maybe that’s because I was walking on the path I had made myself last year, stepping into the same footprints I laid already. The same with the weddings, the julduk, the jailoos. Sometimes there would be additional steps in different paths, ones I could follow that would lead me somewhere new and undiscovered, but for the most part, the paths are all well-worn. 

À Bientôt,

Grace

PS. Finally some new music!

1. Anybody's You- Christina Grimmie

2. Higher- Lloysio

3 Lament- Tommee Profitt, Sam Tinnesz

4. Azizam- Ed Sheeran

5. God went crazy- Teddy Swims

6. Lovin Myself- Ava Max

7. fallin- Natalie Jane

8. Replay- SLANDER

9. Porcelain- Faouzia

10. Hello Again- Zoe Wees

11. I'm Sorry- Besomorph

12. Pretty Ugly- Zara Larsson