Your Anchor

Salut, 

Orientation is over. As I predicted, it went fast and got away from me. Skylar said and repeated to us, over and over again, “This is all we have.” We are anchored to each other and bound to each other by that single promise. All our time is here and now, and we will never have it again. I think in the monotony of work, we can often forget that; all we have is this. Perhaps I feel it more pronounced as I see a widespread amount of famous and non-famous deaths in quick succession. Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, a war criminal, and the king of Norway, and those in Nepal and China. All we have is what is right in front of us. I often find us needing to remind Skylar who first told us that. Some girls and I knocked on her door at 10 PM while she was water coloring, and we urged her to come with us to go out into the city. We are leaving; September 3rd is the last day we’ll all be together for many months. Put down your paintbrush, we told her. This is all we have. It is peer pressure, but it is nonetheless true. 

with the girls

I got huge FOMO (fear of missing out) when I saw my friends in DC, whom I introduced to each other by the way, hanging out together and having dinner. Never before in my life had I wanted to be right in front of them, eating dinner and seeing them face to face. I am more used to these long-distance friendships than most in my cohort, and rarely do I have sage advice aside from knowing how hard it is. I love the cohort I am a part of; they are my anchors I am holding onto as the monsoon washes us away. They are the people I cling to when the waters rise, both literally and metaphorically. Yet, a large part of me yearns for even more familiar faces, the people back home who I have known for years. The obvious drawback of repeated escapades abroad and living in new and foreign environments is the yearning for people back home. The people I have known and who have known me. In a foreign environment and with language barriers, the greatest gift is to be understood, and I forget how easily I was in DC. I felt this feeling, of course, during the Peace Corps, but as the days of orientation dwindled down, I felt it even more.

Hanoi is on top of its Michelin stars and guide. During the second and third week of orientation, we visited even more places. Tam Vi was the first, 1946 was the second, Bun Cha Dac Kim and Pho Cuon Chinh Thang were the third and fourth. Tam Vi was the only one with a star, 1946 with a bib, and the latter two on the guide. My first and only Michelin restaurant outside Vietnam was in Milan with my friend Byron, which is the first place I tasted foie gras, which was meh. Milan’s Michelin was absurdly expensive, and while the places here are expensive by Vietnamese standards, it is relatively inexpensive by ours. The food itself is all good and fancy!

Vietnam won!

Vietnam recently won the ASEAN football cup tournament! We got to witness Vietnam defeat Thailand during two games. The first game we watched at a beer garden right next to our hotel. Jessica and I pulled up right as Vietnam scored their first goal in the second half. The beer garden exploded when they scored their second, and the waitresses gave us Vietnam flag stickers to wear on our faces. The energy is infectious. During this year’s World Cup, I watched only a few games. I have heard and seen on reels that Ho Chi Minh (HCM) City goes out a lot more for the games than Hanoi does. Outside the Old Quarter area here, the place feels sleepy and snoozy.

We finished our teacher training. Again, I found it rather boring, but it was deeply educational about the Vietnamese system entirely. Despite my own time and experience, every country is different, and Vietnam is no exception. We worked in pairs to teach in person at a gifted high school, a college, and a university, all over 3 days. A gifted high school, as the name suggests, is a school for gifted high school students, and there is 1 gifted high school in each province, but there are many in Hanoi, and there are also national gifted high schools. Someone in our cohort, I forget who, will be teaching in a very highly ranked one. Those students inherently are more motivated than your average students. Their English, despite being younger than college/university aged students, is often, on average, remarkably higher than the latter. Colleges are different from universities in that they are often shorter degrees or vocational (think a community college or associate's degree). Those students are, in general, not English majors, and if they are, their English is more geared towards vocational or survival/tourism. Universities, finally, are for standard bachelor's degree students, though some of our cohort are teaching at specialized medical/STEM universities or teaching universities.

caught sleeping 

It is actually quite different from how Peace Corps assigns us schools. Despite our schools being in different locations with different counterparts and student populations, the general English skill level, resources, and overall vibe and schedule were similar across my Peace Corps cohort. We were systematically placed in rather rural, small, K-12 schools. Our sites were small, with the average village about 5-8k people. Here, on the other hand, our placements range widely. One ETA is in Da Nang, with nearly 1.3 million people in the city area. Lang Son, my city, is around 100-150k people. I never got a definitive answer on how big my village in Jalal-Abad was; ranges varied from 12k to 25k depending on who I asked. By the way, Jalal-Abad city was renamed shortly after I left; the oblast (province/district/state) is still Jalal-Abad, but the city is now named Manas. I don't love that for myself, and I also think the name Jalal-Abad gave it some flair. Everywhere in Kyrgyzstan had the same 5-10 rotating names. 

girls brunch

I don’t actually remember how many lessons we taught in training during Peace Corps, but it was definitely more than what we did here, and spaced out over more time. There was significantly more fanfare here, with each school hosting us. I feel as if we endured a character arc over 3 days. The first, the high school, was a walk in the park for the most part, even if I didn’t personally like my lesson. Chris and I co-taught, and I feel like I didn’t prepare that well. Most of us found it smooth and easy. So much so that the next day hit a lot of people like a wall of bricks. We visited a college, where my group taught a class of students who had had like one week of English classes, as they were first-year, non-English majors. Non-English majors by default are more meh on English as a whole, and English for them is like the university language requirement for STEM majors in the US. The occasional interested student, but everybody else is crickets. Our lessons were uncomfortably short, only about 20 minutes. Personally, I found that way too short to learn really effectively how to teach, especially because some of us are teaching long classes (Jessica is teaching 4 4-hour classes a week!). Anyway, Wednesday hit some people hard, especially pairs that went first. I was having war flashbacks to some of my classes at my old school. I could see some of the ETA's faces fall when they saw how difficult teaching extremely novice and beginner level students. Teaching students at that level is often an entirely different skill than teaching intermediate or conversationally fluent students. 

I have seen and endured lots of uncomfortable classes that went by at snail’s pace. I taught students with little to no English and complained about teaching endlessly. The biggest skill, honestly, is adaptation, especially in the beginning. Being able to change and adapt to different skill levels on the spot while teaching comes with great practice and lots of trial and error. Max told me he has never seen me panic about anything here. He told me that in a very sweet positivity circle we had. Honestly, what is there to panic about? Those who have read my previous blogposts know that I feel as if I have seen it all. I have gotten nervous and self-conscious about being perceived a certain way, but there certainly hasn’t been anything to panic about yet. I sort of got most of my panic out during the first year of Peace Corps, as that was a particularly rough year. Everything else goes up from there. 

Ha Long Bay

Speaking of panic, let me regale you with the story of our short-lived “weekend” trip to Cat Ba island. I wasn’t panicking, but Chi Diu certainly was. Almost all of us, 21 (except Guy, who went to HCM), decided to use the ONLY free weekend of our entire orientation to go to Cat Ba island. Cat Ba is an island near Ha Long Bay, a very famous and touristy area, and Megan, the GOAT of planning and logistics, planned and booked a private van and Airbnb for all of us to stay at. As I said in my previous post, we travel a lot together; we seldom split up for important events, but it does mean we bring a lot of noise pollution to the city, and we are inconvenienced by the large size of buses, hotels, restaurants, etc. I have seen waiters’ eyes in restaurants widen just when they see us and our whole party. Call time Saturday was early, 6:30 AM. I will say, one criticism of my cohort is that we are not a punctual party at all. Collegiate energy means that call times are often suggestions. Mobilizing all of us takes forever, with some more guilty of tardiness than others. It is totally worth the mobilization, but it does take a minute.

empty gondola!

Anyway, we arrived at our Airbnb around 9:30, several hours before official check-in, but the hosts let us put our bags down. Oh, yeah, and it was raining cats and dogs. Much like our trip to Ninh Binh, there were buckets and buckets of rain, with cars nearly hydroplaning. I was content to wait out some of the rain or do other things. We weren’t actually on Cat Ba island; we were on the mainland and hoping to take a ferry to the island. After getting coffee and drinks, a small group of us, me included, decided to go to Sunworld, a large amusement park franchise, whose waterpark and rollercoasters were closed that day, but whose gondola was wide open, while everyone else went to the Airbnb to relax. That gondola, according to the company, holds the Guinness world record for tallest gondola ride, and whose cable car can also hold the most people (in excess of 200). The cable car itself had two floors, and because it was so rainy, we had the ride up completely to ourselves (both floors). 

Obama

At the top of the cable car gondola, there was a large arcade, stage area, canteen of fast food, a wax museum, and even fake lands like fake “Japan” and fake “China”. I ate some spaghetti bolgonese in the canteen, and Chris filmed an unboxing of a Hello Kitty mystery box. I told Max, who was eating, to eat slowly with me to encourage Chris to buy it, as he was on the fence. The boys took pictures in the wax museum with a very pale Barack Obama. Kieran, Will, and I went outside and explored, in light rain, fake Japan and reached the bridge to fake China. Fake Japan had lovely fake pagodas, koi fish ponds, and bridges. 

fake japan

While there, I received a call from Megan, who was down with all the girls in the Airbnb, saying that due to rising water levels and rain, Chi Diu had worried about us. Tropical Storm Narra, which eventually transformed into Typhoon Narra, was forming the day we arrived. I guess I am very un-anxious and very unperturbed by water, but everyone else down on the ground was concerned and wading in high waters and wearing ponchos. She insisted and called our van driver to come and get us and return us to Hanoi right then, and that the driver was coming ASAP and to come down the mountain. Kieran, Will, and I were the only ones to get a good view of Ha Long Bay up there. 

tropical storm coming

Additionally, once we descended, we, plus the others in our small group who ventured up the gondola, were the only ones who actually managed to see and do anything really during what became a day trip. We rode down the gondola and raced back to the Airbnb and grabbed our things and left. We left around 1:30, before even the official check-in time. Due to lots of traffic in downtown Hanoi, we arrived back at our hotel at 5:30 PM, a full 11 hours after we had departed. What was the takeaway, I wonder? I do know that many of the girls had been rightfully freaking out, some even going to the grocery store to stock up on food for us, should we get marooned and stuck inside. Such is the story of how our Cat Ba trip started and quickly ended.

Taiwanese hotpot

Another first of mine here in Vietnam has been hotpot food! I previously had never tried it, but with people here, we had several, first trying in a Taiwanese restaurant in a large mall. I have realized how abhorrent I am at holding chopsticks, evident by my clumsiness at holding the meat and picking food that isn’t noodles. The second was crab hotpot at the 1946 Michelin restaurant. The day after orientation ended, we were invited by one of the hotel staff at the hotel we’ve been staying at for a complimentary hotpot. Fulbright has used the same hotel for orientation for a few years, and since it is a relatively small hotel, we take up most of the rooms and floors. We also cause a lot of noise pollution, a lot. Yet the hotel staff gets a decent amount of $ from our stay, as we had stayed there for over 3 weeks. It is the longest I have stayed at a hotel in the last 15 years. They hosted us, and we had a celebration for Anya and Guy, whose birthdays are the first week of September. Megan is the best at preparing surprises. Gift giving is huge here. In Kyrgyzstan, gift giving was often via kalpaks and clothing, and random household items at weddings. Here, fruit baskets, flowers, and candy seem to be common. Megan and Sarah arranged surprise cakes for Anya and Guy, and we sang karaoke with them and all the staff at the hotel.

twins with Jessica

During the last week of orientation, we played more pickleball. I’m actually quite bad at it, and whoever was paired with me was always brought down by my lack of skills. I intend to work on it and become better. My backhand needs work, and my serves are inconsistent. At the embassy, Andy and Skylar led an English conversation club with students of all ages and levels and discussed American holidays. I had the fortune to lead a small group of adult English language learners who had come (many other groups had middle, high school, and university students). Chi Diu encouraged us to engage in spirit week, with the themes being twins, monochrome, Vietnam, florals, etc. Jessica and I could twin because we both bought a green flowy business casual shirt from Muji. Sarah tricked Chi Diu into thinking everyone didn’t have polka dots and got a ⅓ of the cohort to show up in polka dots to prank her. Anya went so far as to cut up polka dots and tape them to her dress. If there is anything I admire, it is the commitment to the bit. On our last Monday of orientation, a group of us went to a cooking class, which was over 3 hours, 35$ (worth it!), and we were able to learn to make pho, bun cha, nem (fried spring rolls), papaya salad, and egg coffee/chocolate. Near the end, I’ll feature some foods I’m loving. The girls who taught us to cook were really sweet, and after we finished, we had a huge family style spread. With our huge numbers, nearly everything is always family style haha. During the last week of orientation, our days didn’t start until the afternoon due to morning prep for lessons. I mostly ordered pizzas to the hotel to eat. There is a Dominoes Pizza here; the jury is out on whether it is legit or not.

cooking class

On the last Tuesday, I went on a long walk by Hoàn Kiếm lake. Hoan Kiem lake is a huge lake near the old quarter area of Hanoi and by far the busiest and most touristy area (train street and beer street are also very, very packed). Train Street features a ton of bars and a literal train that passes through it. The lake we sometimes affectionately call “UNIQLO lake” because it is the same lake that has a UNIQLO next to it that we all met at one day by accident during the first few days of orientation. Honestly, UNIQLO should sponsor us; we buy a lot of their clothing and wear it everywhere, and it’s all affordable and solid. I had some painfully mid McDonalds, and they offer a Pho Burger on their menu, and it is such a strange taste, and I really don’t like it. The lake has a large myth behind it, as it was allegedly the site where a Vietnamese emperor asked a turtle god for a sword to defeat the Chinese. At night, it is very peaceful, and the Turtle Tower in the center of the lake lights up sometimes.

On Wednesday, Lauren and I went to a short yoga class, which also reminded me, like pickleball, of how out of shape I am and how much I need to exercise. Wednesday was also the day we saw the final game that Vietnam won against Thailand! A bunch of us went to a sports bar on the rooftop of a VERY hot local area. I have never sweated as much as I do in Hanoi. Hanoi, however, has a reputation for both being very hot and very rainy. Many of our hosts who visited us two weeks ago commented about how unusually hot and humid Hanoi is.

Fulbright pageant

Thursday was the day before orientation ended, and like everything, we like to go out with a bang. That was the last day of teacher training at a local university, the same university Skylar will be staying at. It was fun to preview a few ETA’s placements early. Max MCed the same American holiday presentation to all the university students. What was not fun was the rain that came and the 4-5 inch high water. I took off my black Mary Jane shoes and walked barefoot through the water. Vietnam could have better drainage systems. We got back and got ready for what I believe was the second Mr. and Mrs. Fulbright beauty pageant! A new cohort tradition, two people are chosen from the cohort to compete to be named the ultimate Mr./Mrs. Fulbright. Despite the cohort being composed mostly of women, both last year and this years’ competitors were all men. Max and Will showed up and showed out, borrowing some clothes from the girls for the streetwear, swimwear, and evening wear competitions. Will sang in a choir in university, and he is classically trained in opera as well, so he sang Ave Maria and another song I forgot. Max did stand up and enlisted his team of preppers to dance acapella to the first Pitch Perfect’s finale competition from the Treblemakers. IYKYK. Both threw it down, and while it wasn’t entirely PG, it was one for the ages, and also one I will keep my mouth tightly closed about. Max won and was named Mr. Fulbright. Ironically enough, our cohort has a few people who competed in pageants, and actually Katie is a teen beauty pageant queen, having been named and won Ms Teen International in 2021. Apparently last year, the pageant was secretive and very impromptu and last minute. This year, people were prepping and practicing for hours.

Andy and Skylar's flowers

On the final day of orientation, it felt bittersweet and fast. We wrote a letter to our future selves, something I’m honestly surprised we never did in Peace Corps. May will come so fast. This blog contains my thoughts, so looking back is always in retrospection. Megan and others bought Chi Diu flower bouquets, and we wrote notes to Skylar and Andy (and got them flowers too!) to thank them for their mentorship. The two of them are a great yin and yang, bouncing off each other in a way that I think serves us all well. Both are capable of intensity and seriousness, genuineness and humor. They and others have created so many inside jokes among us already, despite such limited time. For dinner, Fulbright paid for a barbecue and beer place for us all. Before dinner, I visited the Vietnam Women’s Museum, and I was happy as I walked right into a large cross-cultural ceremony of music and dance happening on the museum grounds and entryway. One thing I noticed, not just in this specific museum but just in general, is how much they spotlight and emphasize the role of women. What did Mao say, women hold up half the sky?

Will on his way to fake China

Orientation is over. We have an awkward few days before we all leave, though. The end of orientation/training of Fulbright and Peace Corps could not be more different. In the latter, we all dispersed immediately. After the ceremony, we had refreshments, and then within the hour, some volunteers were swept away and gone. Much like Peace Corps, our hosts are in charge of picking us up/helping us arrange transportation to our provinces and sites. However, September 2nd is National Day, celebrating when Ho Chi Minh (Uncle Ho) read the Declaration of Independence in Hanoi. National Day has few festivities outside of major cities, so many of our host institutions advised us to stay in Hanoi and offered to pick us up after the holiday is over, giving us more time with each other and in Hanoi. Originally, we had all planned to spend time vacationing in Sa Pa, another touristy area, but the weather had us reconsidering.

chefs!

For some of us, we started saying goodbyes. A few decided to go to Ho Chi Minh City instead of staying in Hanoi. Some of us are leaving September 2nd, others early September 3rd. Some of us will be gone in the dark, others will sob and cry. I’m not afraid. Crying means you had something worth crying about. I can only cry tears of sadness for something or someone leaving if I wanted in my heart for them to stay. Maybe a part of me wanted to stay in this bubble that feels like summer camp. Where money can be tossed and spent with hand waving, and where we are all together, and everything is easy. Where life feels fun and free, but none of that lasts forever.

last day of Orientation

Much like I said when I departed to my own site now 3 years ago, every story is our own. My stories of orientation will be familiar to everyone in my cohort, because for well over 60% of it, you all were right there beside me. But this is where the fork in the road emerges, where I begin this walk alone. With the exceptions of meet ups, hang outs, site visits, and mid year and the end, everything going forward will be uniquely mine, just in the same way my site in Peace Corps was. My life may run in similar patterns and circles as the other ETAs in my cohort, but the very nature of these programs means that when it comes down to it, we do this alone. The isolation is a feature of it, not a bug. Orientation and training are the short place and time for us. It truly is all we have. I am anchored by so, so many things. 

birthday party

As we reflect and before we depart, I have asked and been asked what I have enjoyed the most, what I am scared of, and low points. The first few days felt like low points: the sheer overstimulation from the environment, the language, the weather, the time zone difference- all felt overwhelming to a paralyzing degree. I found so much of my love saved for Ninh Binh. The stroll along the night markets and the pagodas and the lit up flowers. The morning hike and the kayaking trip. I wake up exhausted nearly every day, and for Ninh Binh, I would do it all again. Part of me worries about the first month in my provincial town. First impressions are always hard, and each new beginning can be scary.

I am anchored by the past, by everything that came before me, and the experience that complements and informs but doesn’t define what I’m doing now. I am anchored by people, by people with open and kind hearts in the US and here. They are the buoys I cling to when the metaphorical and literal typhoons come for us. I am anchored by my school, by the students and faculty and people who I have not met yet, but I know it will all work out. In the end, this was all we had. It was short and fast, unlike 11 weeks of Peace Corps. No one is an island, truly, even if the roads we take may make us think we are alone or lonely. I can't imagine doing this alone, like how some private expats come to teach at schools in Vietnam or around the world. Community does not always come as naturally to someone like me who errs on the side of being a hermit on occasion. In all things though, community and people are the only real anchors we have. Every stranger can, in a second, become a friend or connection. I look around at the faces of people next to me, who I have known for so little time, and I marvel at how once strangers have now become friends. The kind of friends who will rally and wake each other up, knock and bang on each others' doors and demand their presence and attention. The kind who will wade through muddy waters and typhoons with us, who will pay our huge dinner bills and trust we all pay it back (you too, Guy!). The kind who will do Vietnamese drinking chants, shouting at the top of our lungs to outmatch the locals next to us. The kind who will translate for us, when us non-Vietnamese speakers fumble and bumble through conversations. The kind who will throw surprise birthday parties and deliver fruit baskets and flower bouquets, and the kind who will stay up late until 3-4 AM talking until we can't anymore. To all the people who have anchored us and anchored me, thank you. This was all we had, and you are all we had. 

À Bientôt,

Grace

PS. Food time! I have gotten to try many, many new dishes. In addition to the standard pho and banh mi, I have gotten to try: Bún bò Huế, Bún chả, Bò né, Bánh canh, Xôi (sticky rice),  and 

Bánh xèo. I am a fiend for some 

Bún bò Huế and Bún chả. The latter is also a lot like udon. 

PPS. I finally figured out captions for the pictures. If it is too messy on the the interface, let me know, and I'll stop doing it.